This letter is long overdue.
I wanted to write to you when we first found out about you. But, here is the deal, sweets. I have been scared.
You will learn about your big brother’s story one day. There were many emotions that went into being pregnant with Noah man. All of those same emotions and fear resurfaced as soon as we found out we were expecting you in nine short months. Please know this. We were beyond excited to meet you and have you become our newest addition to our crew. Yet, we wondered if your story would be one similar to your big brother’s story.
Following your big brother’s arrival, we prayed for you. Even before your existence. We prayed we would once again be blessed with another child to bring into this crazy, beautiful world. Most of all, we prayed you would be healthy. In whatever form that may be.
Three years ago, Noah gave us the gift of strength. The kind of strength that would take a mighty force to break us. His story is one we will always remain grateful for and there is not one detail we would change. It made us stronger and better versions of our 2013 selves. And, you my love, well, you gave us the gift of faith. Because on a very hot July day, you were placed into my arms and for the next 25 minutes, with tears streaming down our faces, we repeated, “He is perfect. He is just perfect.” On July 8th, we saw through you just how amazing and big God’s presence is in our lives.
The story of your birth…it is beautiful and simple. You came ten days early. But, you were ready. And, we were ready. (Although later, we will tell you how we were not physically ready as we did not even have a hospital bag packed.) At 8:45 in the evening, I felt a little something “new” and later learned it was my water breaking. Your daddy took me to the hospital to get checked out. At 11:45 pm, they checked me to find out I was already 5 cm dilated. At 12:45, I was admitted and not leaving this hospital without you. At 4:00 am, we were getting ready to meet you. (Boy, your brother and you do not mess around during the labor part!) And, at 6:16 am, you had arrived. All 7 pounds & 3 ounces and 20 inches of you exploded every inch of our hearts with pure love and joy.
Your daddy is still stuck on cloud nine. Your big brother is already your biggest fan and protector; he will never let anything bad happen to you. (I can promise you that, love bug.) Your fluffy sister accepted you right away and never blinked. Almost like she knew you were supposed to be a part of our family.
As for me, I cannot stop starring at you. And, saying continuous prayers of gratitude to God. I told your daddy a few times while I was pregnant with you, I feared not being able to love you the same as I love Noah. Those fears went straight out the window the moment I saw your big, beautiful blue eyes, your adorable button nose, your perfect, pink lips, and your tiny hands and toes. It was instant. The incredible love I felt for you that day and every day following since that sweet, July day. You may be tiny, but we adore how much fuller you have made our home.
Welcome to our crew, little one. We are a crazy, loud, and fun bunch. You are going to fit in just perfectly.
I love you. More than I can put into words.
Six years of wedded bliss.
Thirteen years of being in love.
It has been an amazing adventure with you.
As each year passes, my love for you is stronger.
Our life is nothing what I pictured at nineteen.
It is far better.
Our life is magic, babe.
Let me take a moment to say what you do not hear enough throughout the year.
For loving me unconditionally.
For reminding me constantly God is in control.
For working hard to provide us with this beautiful life.
For cooking with attention and detail.
And, for being the ultimate grill master.
For always, always, always being there for Noah and I.
For being an exceptional father.
For cleaning the toilets and cleaning the dishes.
For rubbing my swollen feet every. single. night.
For reminding me to never lose my sense of adventure with you.
For grocery shopping, making lunches, and fixing my car.
For always having time to play soccer and being silly pirates with Noah.
(You have no idea how full this makes my heart.)
For making me laugh with your ever so witty one-liners.
For staying calm and cool even at the most crazy of times.
For dreaming big and crazy with me.
For encouraging me to never give up until I have reached the stars.
For being my partner-in-crime in this journey of parenthood.
It has been challenging.
But, oh my word, it ROCKS!
(Five weeks, babe. Before we welcome our second love. We got this.)
Most of all, thank you for being my husband and best friend.
I am unsure of what I did to deserve you.
But, I owe the big man upstairs a major shout out.
(Thank you, God, for blessing me with my forever guy.)
I lub you, B.
More than I can put into words.
Happy Anniversary, my love.
They hold their little one’s hands.
They show up. In the stands cheering for that little league game or big track meet.
They cook and clean dishes just to ease Mama’s heart and make her smile.
They hug their minis tight to remind them they are safe. Always.
They teach their children how to be smart with our money and change a tire. Those valuable life lessons.
They hope and dream for their babies.
They are strong and silent.
They work hard. The kind of work that goes unnoticed. And, they never, ever ask for a pat on the back.
They heal broken hearts and ensure no future heartbreak ever takes place.
They are the very best.
May every child have strong arms to run into and a soft heart to call home.
To all the great fathers out there, hopeful, current, or expecting, especially my amazing father-in-laws, my wonderful daddy, and the man, my one heck of a husband, who had me fall in love with him all over after seeing him become a papa bear…
For all you do.
And, for continuing to protect, love, and support us.
Happy (Early) Father’s Day!
They said it would fly by.
They were right.
Three. You are three, love.
(Give us a moment.)
We met you on that sweet May day. We held you and took one look at each other to know our lives would forever be changed in that moment because we had fallen ridiculously in love with you.
It was that same day, we felt God whisper to us, “Just wait and see what I have planned for your sweet boy…”
(And, here come the waterworks.)
You are the bravest person we know, Noah man. Enough said.
You smile with your eyes. And, it lights up any room and heart.
You love tractors & fast cars, exploring on the farm, playing soccer, snuggling, eating cupcakes, learning & reading books, and being our sous chef in the kitchen.
You inspire us daily by your strength and faith. Watching you fold your precious hands together and thank God for your many blessings melts every inch of our hearts.
You fight and love with an unbelievable amount of passion.
You never turn down the opportunity to be silly. It is probably one of our favorite things about you.
You give us more joy than you will ever know. In the way you say ever so sweet, “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.” In the way you ask for hugs and kisses before leaving for school. And, in the way you make us laugh by your random questions and singing. We never knew being parents could be this “love bursting out of our hearts” kind of journey, but it is. It so is, sweets.
You are an entertainer at heart. Your dance moves alone rock.
You love unconditionally like daddy and laugh loudly like mama.
You are going to make an incredible big brother, best friend, and role model to Baby Brother.
You have a humble and kind heart. And, the reasons we beam with pride as to how we got so lucky to have you as our son and best little bud.
We are honored and privileged to be chosen by God to be the ones who love and support you through this beautiful thing called life.
Happiest of happy THIRD birthdays, love bug!!!
May you continue to dream and hope as big as your sweet heart.
We are just crazy about you, kid.
Daddy and Mama
A powerful journey.
Filled with grace, joy, pain, and passion.
Those brave and beautiful mamas though.
The ones who dream, plan, hope, cry, lost, and waited wrapped in desire.
The ones who spend nine months in excitement, anxiety, and wonderment if their bodies and hearts are ready for this journey. This oh so beautiful journey.
Yet their hearts will never be prepared for the love of the biggest blessing(s) to enter their lives.
The ones who wake in the middle of the night to nurse or prepare a bottle with tired eyes to feed their newest bundle of joy only to remember one day, those quiet nights will be greatly missed.
The ones who chase monsters out of closets, lay next to their babes scared of the dark, and kiss “owies” to keep those tears away and sweet smiles forever on their faces.
The ones who walk this journey accompanied or alone, with their bodies or hearts, they will be forever changed and never truly their own. In the best of ways.
The ones who will birth for twenty plus hours, take fertility medications, fly across the country or world only to hold flesh on flesh the one they have prayed for weeks, months, or years.
The ones who create everlasting legacies and silly traditions.
The ones who are always available to hear their grown babies tell of their pain, fears, and joys of their own babies.
The ones who prepare meals with heart-shaped pancakes and “ants on the log” only to once again see the joy and excitement we take for granted at times.
The ones who stay awake into the early morning hours to create a handmade Valentine’s card box or finish the science project due the next school day.
The ones who sing silly songs in the bathtub and have pajama dance parties on Saturday night. Just because. The sound of those giggles. It is the very best.
The ones who try to stay afloat through those dark and exhausting days, they carry on.
Because they are the nurturers, the glue, the warriors, the realm of calmness and love.
And, through those most joyful and trying times, they remember over and over again.
Filled with chaos.
And beauty in the most hidden places.
To all the great mothers, hopeful or expecting, new or seasoned, especially the two I am constantly inspired by, my mum and mama-in-law.
This tribute is for you.
(Although, thank you is not nearly enough.)
For all you do.
Your sacrifice, unconditional love, and strength.
(photo credit: nicole j photography)
Happy (Early) Mother’s Day.