mamahood with two

This mama thing of two little humans.

I thought I had it all figured out.

I was wrong.

It has been quite the humbling experience thus far.

Before Nikhil was born, we figured it would be easy.  We did it once.  How hard could it be the second time around?!?

Nobody tells you there are going to be days where you feel lost and alone.  Especially during those late night feeds.  Or days where a tornado has dropped by in your home thanks to your three year old, and you are too tired to clean it up.  Or days when you have two tearful minis both requiring your love and attention.  And, you feel like you may want to throw in the towel and cry in the fetal position in the corner of a room.  Because this mama thing of two has you right at the edge of “What the heck was I thinking?!”

But, nobody also tells you the wonderful surprises of mamahood with two babes.  The kind of surprises that unfold right before your eyes leaving you at a loss for words.  Nobody tells you how your heart will explode into a million pieces when you see your oldest wake up every morning running into his baby brother’s room to say good morning and give him snuggles.  Or the way your oldest takes his job of “big brother” VERY seriously and you start to envision the way he will ALWAYS have baby brother’s back when they are older.  Or the way they look at one another and in the deepest parts of your heart, you know they will be the best of friends no matter the age difference.  Or when you watch one asleep and smiling in your arms and the other one running around with laughter and pretending to be a pirate.  And, you think to yourself, “How in the world did I get SO lucky to have two happy and healthy babes?!”

This new season of life is one that continues giving me moments of challenging experiences mixed with gifts of gratitude.  I certainly do not know what I am doing most days.  I am still learning.  In other words, we are on survival mode.  But, then there is this.

two kids

(Photo by Sweet Me Photography)

This photo.  I have starred at it a hundred different times.  My heart has exploded on countless occasions.  And, I have realized, in the midst of our crazy and messy life, there is not one part of our life I would want to change.  Because, it is beautiful.  And, because…I love them so.


letters to nikhil: happy birth day!

Dear Nikhil,

This letter is long overdue.  

I wanted to write to you when we first found out about you.  But, here is the deal, sweets.  I have been scared.  

You will learn about your big brother’s story one day.  There were many emotions that went into being pregnant with Noah man.  All of those same emotions and fear resurfaced as soon as we found out we were expecting you in nine short months.  Please know this.  We were beyond excited to meet you and have you become our newest addition to our crew.  Yet, we wondered if your story would be one similar to your big brother’s story.  

Following your big brother’s arrival, we prayed for you.  Even before your existence.  We prayed we would once again be blessed with another child to bring into this crazy, beautiful world.  Most of all, we prayed you would be healthy.  In whatever form that may be.

Three years ago, Noah gave us the gift of strength.  The kind of strength that would take a mighty force to break us.  His story is one we will always remain grateful for and there is not one detail we would change.  It made us stronger and better versions of our 2013 selves.  And, you my love, well, you gave us the gift of faith.  Because on a very hot July day, you were placed into my arms and for the next 25 minutes, with tears streaming down our faces, we repeated, “He is perfect.  He is just perfect.”  On July 8th, we saw through you just how amazing and big God’s presence is in our lives.  

birth of nikhil 01

The story of your birth…it is beautiful and simple.  You came ten days early.  But, you were ready.  And, we were ready. (Although later, we will tell you how we were not physically ready as we did not even have a hospital bag packed.)  At 8:45 in the evening, I felt a little something “new” and later learned it was my water breaking.  Your daddy took me to the hospital to get checked out.  At 11:45 pm, they checked me to find out I was already 5 cm dilated.  At 12:45, I was admitted and not leaving this hospital without you.  At 4:00 am, we were getting ready to meet you.  (Boy, your brother and you do not mess around during the labor part!)  And, at 6:16 am, you had arrived.  All 7 pounds & 3 ounces and 20 inches of you exploded every inch of our hearts with pure love and joy.  

birth of nikhil 02

Your daddy is still stuck on cloud nine.  Your big brother is already your biggest fan and protector; he will never let anything bad happen to you.  (I can promise you that, love bug.)  Your fluffy sister accepted you right away and never blinked.  Almost like she knew you were supposed to be a part of our family.  

birth of nikhil 03

As for me, I cannot stop starring at you.  And, saying continuous prayers of gratitude to God.  I told your daddy a few times while I was pregnant with you, I feared not being able to love you the same as I love Noah.  Those fears went straight out the window the moment I saw your big, beautiful blue eyes, your adorable button nose, your perfect, pink lips, and your tiny hands and toes.  It was instant.  The incredible love I felt for you that day and every day following since that sweet, July day.  You may be tiny, but we adore how much fuller you have made our home.

birth of nikhil 04

birth of nikhil 05

birth of nikhil 06

Welcome to our crew, little one.  We are a crazy, loud, and fun bunch.  You are going to fit in just perfectly.

birth of nikhil 07

I love you.  More than I can put into words.

birth of nikhil 08





six years

My love.

Six years of wedded bliss.

Thirteen years of being in love.

It has been an amazing adventure with you.

Thus far.

As each year passes, my love for you is stronger.

Our life is nothing what I pictured at nineteen.

It is far better.

This life.

Our life is magic, babe.

six years 01

Let me take a moment to say what you do not hear enough throughout the year.

Thank you.

For loving me unconditionally.

For reminding me constantly God is in control.

For working hard to provide us with this beautiful life.

For cooking with attention and detail.

And, for being the ultimate grill master.

For always, always, always being there for Noah and I.

For being an exceptional father.

For cleaning the toilets and cleaning the dishes.

For rubbing my swollen feet every. single. night.

For reminding me to never lose my sense of adventure with you.

For grocery shopping, making lunches, and fixing my car.

For always having time to play soccer and being silly pirates with Noah.

(You have no idea how full this makes my heart.)

For making me laugh with your ever so witty one-liners.

For staying calm and cool even at the most crazy of times.

For dreaming big and crazy with me.

For encouraging me to never give up until I have reached the stars.

For being my partner-in-crime in this journey of parenthood.

It has been challenging.

But, oh my word, it ROCKS!

(Five weeks, babe.  Before we welcome our second love.  We got this.)

Most of all, thank you for being my husband and best friend.

I am unsure of what I did to deserve you.

But, I owe the big man upstairs a major shout out.

(Thank you, God, for blessing me with my forever guy.)

I lub you, B.

More than I can put into words.

six years 02Happy Anniversary, my love.



fathers, they are the very best.


They hold their little one’s hands.

They show up.  In the stands cheering for that little league game or big track meet.

They cook and clean dishes just to ease Mama’s heart and make her smile.

They hug their minis tight to remind them they are safe.  Always.

They teach their children how to be smart with our money and change a tire.  Those valuable life lessons.

They hope and dream for their babies.

They are strong and silent.

They work hard.  The kind of work that goes unnoticed.  And, they never, ever ask for a pat on the back.

They heal broken hearts and ensure no future heartbreak ever takes place.

They are the very best.

May every child have strong arms to run into and a soft heart to call home.

To all the great fathers out there, hopeful, current, or expecting, especially my amazing father-in-laws, my wonderful daddy, and the man, my one heck of a husband, who had me fall in love with him all over after seeing him become a papa bear…

Thank you.

For all you do.

And, for continuing to protect, love, and support us.  


Happy (Early) Father’s Day!


letters to noah man: happy THIRD birthday!!!

Dear Noah, 


They said it would fly by.

They were right.  

But, seriously…

Three.  You are three, love.

third birthday 01

(Deep breaths.)

(Give us a moment.)

We met you on that sweet May day.  We held you and took one look at each other to know our lives would forever be changed in that moment because we had fallen ridiculously in love with you.  

third birthday 02

It was that same day, we felt God whisper to us, “Just wait and see what I have planned for your sweet boy…”

(And, here come the waterworks.)

third birthday 03

You are the bravest person we know, Noah man.  Enough said.

third birthday 04

You smile with your eyes.  And, it lights up any room and heart.

You love tractors & fast cars, exploring on the farm, playing soccer, snuggling, eating cupcakes, learning & reading books, and being our sous chef in the kitchen.    

third birthday 05

You inspire us daily by your strength and faith.  Watching you fold your precious hands together and thank God for your many blessings melts every inch of our hearts.

You fight and love with an unbelievable amount of passion.  

third birthday 06

You never turn down the opportunity to be silly.  It is probably one of our favorite things about you. 

third birthday 07

You give us more joy than you will ever know.  In the way you say ever so sweet, “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.”  In the way you ask for hugs and kisses before leaving for school.  And, in the way you make us laugh by your random questions and singing.  We never knew being parents could be this “love bursting out of our hearts” kind of journey, but it is.  It so is, sweets.

third birthday 08

You are an entertainer at heart.  Your dance moves alone rock.

You love unconditionally like daddy and laugh loudly like mama.  

third birthday 09

You are going to make an incredible big brother, best friend, and role model to Baby Brother.  

You have a humble and kind heart.  And, the reasons we beam with pride as to how we got so lucky to have you as our son and best little bud.  

third birthday 10

We are honored and privileged to be chosen by God to be the ones who love and support you through this beautiful thing called life.  

Happiest of happy THIRD birthdays, love bug!!!

third birthday 11

May you continue to dream and hope as big as your sweet heart.

We are just crazy about you, kid.

third birthday 12


Daddy and Mama