This mama thing of two little humans.
I thought I had it all figured out.
I was wrong.
It has been quite the humbling experience thus far.
Before Nikhil was born, we figured it would be easy. We did it once. How hard could it be the second time around?!?
Nobody tells you there are going to be days where you feel lost and alone. Especially during those late night feeds. Or days where a tornado has dropped by in your home thanks to your three year old, and you are too tired to clean it up. Or days when you have two tearful minis both requiring your love and attention. And, you feel like you may want to throw in the towel and cry in the fetal position in the corner of a room. Because this mama thing of two has you right at the edge of “What the heck was I thinking?!”
But, nobody also tells you the wonderful surprises of mamahood with two babes. The kind of surprises that unfold right before your eyes leaving you at a loss for words. Nobody tells you how your heart will explode into a million pieces when you see your oldest wake up every morning running into his baby brother’s room to say good morning and give him snuggles. Or the way your oldest takes his job of “big brother” VERY seriously and you start to envision the way he will ALWAYS have baby brother’s back when they are older. Or the way they look at one another and in the deepest parts of your heart, you know they will be the best of friends no matter the age difference. Or when you watch one asleep and smiling in your arms and the other one running around with laughter and pretending to be a pirate. And, you think to yourself, “How in the world did I get SO lucky to have two happy and healthy babes?!”
This new season of life is one that continues giving me moments of challenging experiences mixed with gifts of gratitude. I certainly do not know what I am doing most days. I am still learning. In other words, we are on survival mode. But, then there is this.
(Photo by Sweet Me Photography)
This photo. I have starred at it a hundred different times. My heart has exploded on countless occasions. And, I have realized, in the midst of our crazy and messy life, there is not one part of our life I would want to change. Because, it is beautiful. And, because…I love them so.